coming soon to stupid!

 

Filed under: Uncategorized

107 points for the v-spot

it has come to my attention that the v-spot cafe, located on fifth avenue in park slope, is closed for renovations.

you see, vegans are very creative. they can turn plastic into protein and gravel into dessert. they can also turn facts into fiction. the v-spot is not closed for renovations, folks, it was shut down by the nyc department of health!

you can read more about that in this article from “here’s park slope.”

i admit i have never eaten there. that is because any time I walked by i always got a distinct hit of stupid. it seemed dark and the staff seemed to always be outside smoking cigarettes. there was a certain 20-something holier-than-thou attitude that seemed to say something like: there is serious stuff going on here. only we can understand or handle it. we, the select few, understand seitan, edgy music and second-hand fashions. smoking cigarettes and sporting a fuck you attitude are not in any way incompatible with our cuisine-based lifestyle.

indeed some vegans choose this way of eating because they see it as an extension of their world view, presumably one that does not acknowledge the value of eating animals. even though i am an (enlightened, local-and-sustainable) omnivore i can respect this.

what I have a hard time respecting, or even grasping, is the seeming absence of the related values of respecting customers (at least as much as animals) and caring about their health and wellbeing (at least as much as animals) beyond the absence of animal-based food products?

lacking regard for basic standards of hygiene endangers the lives of humans. foods — whether animal or plant in nature — not prepared, held and served according to the rules can be lethal. remember odwalla?

no, the owners and workers are probably not old enough to remember that in 1996-7, 40 people got ill and 1 died from odwalla juice contaminated with e-coli. and odwalla was trying to run a safe operation!

the v-spot didn’t seem to be trying at all (see item # 3 below: food protection certificate not held by supervisor of food operations.). like they were above all of those rules and regs. hipsters might forget about food safety when the recess bell rings and it’s time for kickball, but the v-sters are darker, mean, disdainful and cruel. I’ve read recent comments and people were finding hairs in, and puling from, v-spot take-out.

oh, and big up to michael pollan who has skillfully taken on the traditional vegetarian/vegan arguments against eating meat.

i don’t have too much more to say about this place except to note my curiosity about its health department infractions. which are as follows:

Violations recorded in the following area (s), a Notice of Violation issued and establishment ordered closed by the Department of Health at the initial operational cycle inspection conducted on 01/10/2012.

“Critical” violations are displayed in red.

Violation points: 107 Sanitary Violations 1) Hot food item not held at or above 140º F. 2) Cold food item held above 41º F (smoked fish and reduced oxygen packaged foods above 38 ºF) except during necessary preparation. 3) Food Protection Certificate not held by supervisor of food operations. 4) Raw, cooked or prepared food is adulterated, contaminated, cross-contaminated, or not discarded in accordance with HACCP plan. 5) Appropriately scaled metal stem-type thermometer or thermocouple not provided or used to evaluate temperatures of potentially hazardous foods during cooking, cooling, reheating and holding. 6) Evidence of mice or live mice present in facility’s food and/or non-food areas. 7) Filth flies or food/refuse/sewage-associated (FRSA) flies present in facility’s food and/or non-food areas. Filth flies include house flies, little house flies, blow flies, bottle flies and flesh flies. Food/refuse/sewage-associated flies include fruit flies, drain flies and Phorid flies. 8) Personal cleanliness inadequate. Outer garment soiled with possible contaminant. Effective hair restraint not worn in an area where food is prepared. 9) Food not protected from potential source of contamination during storage, preparation, transportation, display or service. 10) Food contact surface not properly washed, rinsed and sanitized after each use and following any activity when contamination may have occurred. 11) Sanitized equipment or utensil, including in-use food dispensing utensil, improperly used or stored. 12) Wiping cloths soiled or not stored in sanitizing solution. 13) Facility not vermin proof. Harborage or conditions conducive to attracting vermin to the premises and/or allowing vermin to exist. 14) Food contact surface not properly maintained.

Filed under: Uncategorized

take that, breastfeeders!

my new favorite web site,  STFU parents, is currently honoring some clever commentary regarding the stupidity of the breastfeeding obesssed.  thank you and om shanti shanti shanti!

see: tittycon 2011 commentary following this award-winning,  stfu parents post entitled “best birth ever”

 

Filed under: breastfeeding, parent privilege, stfu parents, other stupid things

here’s a new stupid thing: parent privilege

a friend of mine was saying that he wished his kids did not want to see the new smurfs movie. another friend responded that her job description does not include taking her kids to see dumb kids movies . . . that she “lets the childless grown-ups” in her life take care of that for her.

there is so much wrong in that.

first, the word “lets” as though it were a privilege, a gift, a blessing. here, you unfortunate barren person, i will allow you to take my offspring to the movies. you have all that time and income to yourself so — naturally — you would want to relieve me of this chore so that i can attend to repairing the world.

parent privilege is another category of privilege and, like all privilege, the people who have it don’t know they have it.

parents: stupid is optional. wake up and be human first.

that being said, the best web site ever is STFU parents.

instead of thanking these privileged asshat parents for blessing us with the honor of taking their children to see the smurfs, i would like to say SHUT THE FUCK UP.

Filed under: stfu parents, other stupid things

breastfeeding man

a swedish man wants to breastfeed.  whatever.

Filed under: breastfeeding, other stupid things

other stupid things: cooking with breastmilk

please be advised that the following (click on “fun”)  “fun” recipe  features breast milk. this goes beyond stupid. it is grotesque, horrifying and wrong. soon lactating women will be selling their breastmilk for extra income. nightmarish scenario at starbucks: um, carmel macchiato with steamed breastmilk please. recall. that was a carmel macchiato with breastmilk.will there be low fat? regular? 2%? it is already an inconvenience and an annoyance to have to search through various thermii to find the whole milk. now another thermos. have mercy on me – i can’t take another thimble of complexity.

i’m sure i read about a hot shit chef using b-milk to make ice cream pops. i do hope that the department of health locks him in a medieval dungeon for a long time for exposing the public to the potential risks of such personal fluids.

Filed under: breastfeeding, stupid, other stupid things

breaking news: breastfeeding issue!

it may very well be important to have a breastfeeding one-stop but maybe it isn’t working out for felina at her current location, a street level condo in the precious manhattan pythian. a better idea would be to incorporate as a not-for-profit, paint a schoolbus and go on tour. come park it in park slope outside the tea room (and across the street from the food co op) on union street just about any time during the week in the mornings and afternoons.

read this breastfeeding! breaking! news!

see! the cleverly named “upper breast side” breastfeeding boutique

Filed under: breastfeeding, discrimination!, park slope, stupid, other stupid things

other stupid things: breastfeeding

there is so much to say about this. it must be partialized. there is:

1. advocacy
2. the physical act
3. righteousness
4. products
5. crossover
6. breaking news
7. psychosis

consider this a working list.

Filed under: breastfeeding, stupid, other stupid things

stupid customer service: panasonic

disclaimer: the author advisers readers to be aware that the opinion expressed herein is based on the writer’s personal experience as a customer in relationship to the above-referenced company (“p”). readers are not encouraged to imitate, disseminate or compose works of art about or in response to the following post.

i wrote to p as follows:

January 13, 2011 at 7:11 PM
regarding the DMW-10PP battery to my lumix camera, i have noticed that over time its capacity to hold a charge has drastically decreased.. no matter how long or often i charge it, only 1 bar appears on the strength-of-charge indicator on the camera. is there a way to remedy this? please advise.

p responded thusly:

On Thu, Jan 13, 2011 at 8:41 PM, <prodcameras@callcenter.us.panasonic.com> wrote:
Thank you for your inquiry.  We apologize for any inconvenience. based on the information you have provided, there is no way to remedy the issue. We advise that you get a different battery as this can be a sign of the battery malfunctioning. We hope this information is helpful to you. Thank you for contacting Panasonic.

to which i responded:

On January 13, 2011 at 9:02 PM
what is the expected lifespan of one of these batteries, please? it seems that it did not live that long.

and p responded as follows:

On Fri, Jan 14, 2011 at 12:24 PM, <prodcameras@callcenter.us.panasonic.com> wrote:
Thank you for your inquiry.  We apologize for any inconvenience. We do not have an expected life span on batteries, based on the usage and care of the battery that will help to determine how long the battery will last. We hope this information is helpful. Thank you for contacting Panasonic.

then: i wrote this:

On January 14, 2011 at 1:27 PM
i will try to be polite and respectful when I say that this is the lamest customer service i have ever received. you seem to know nothing about this product. i really hope someone in management sees this. while i love my lumix, i will be sure not to buy any more panasonic products again since the customer service is so substandard.
sincerely,
a dissatisfied customer.

for their final act of customer care, p responded thusly:

Thank you for sharing your feedback with us here at Panasonic.

Filed under: camera, electronics, lumix, panasonic, stupid

tavern on the green

i began writing this in june, 2010. the short version is:  tavern on the green closed. it wasn’t news.  i wish i could say that i’d actually eaten there, but i have not.  it was such a pretty place, you know, but everybody has always said that the food is expensive and bad. i think that a champagne bar should open there. champagne, caviar, oysters. match the inside with the outside, you know?

looks like that may happen. cipriani peeps are looking at the possibility of doing something there. in the meantime, it has been turned into a “visitor’s center” with a “food court” (“some people dining at the new food court [have] said the cuisine was actually an improvement”). yes, food trucks have gone upscale and this works for me. it is not stupid.

since i cannot render firsthand commentary about the legendary food i will let others do that.

bankruptcy sale!

the great thing about this plea for the public’s support are the comments that follow.  scroll down.

Filed under: Uncategorized